"To Thine Own Self Be True"

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!
~Shakespeare

The always amazing Kelle Hampton has a great post featuring these beautiful and wise words from Shakespeare. What seems like such a simple and easy concept is one of the most difficult for most people.

Why does it always seem we want to be someone we are not. Its the classic "keeping up with the Jones" that most people face on some level. But as I approach my 35th birthday I question myself - why am I not good enough just the way I am.

Being the mother of a daughter I worry that I will impart my insecurities upon her. I don't want her to feel that her life if ruined without the "right jeans" or the "cool watch." But I have to question how I can instill in her a sense of self worth and pride when I still don't have that myself.

Earlier this year I made a conscious effort at eliminating so called "toxic people" from my life. I decided that if people didn't like me and want to be friends with my for who I am, why should I try to be their friend. I have long felt like that 5th grader I once was, few friends, trying to be cool, peering in at the group from the outside. I felt like I was compromising who I was as a person and more importantly as a parent to be their friend. While my datebook may not be filled up with play-dates and outings, I also no longer have that crushed ego when they don't call, or cancel at the last minute or in general dismiss me.

Its also not a secret that my weight has been a constant battle for me. One I have been fighting for over 20 years. I am weary of the fight, and feel that to a certain degree the weight I carry is the heaviness in my heart. The lack of self-esteem weighing on me, bringing me down.

I am good enough.
I am smart.
I am creative.
I am funny.
I am a good teacher.
I am good at applying makeup.
I am a great parent.
I am a good wife.

The question begs to be asked, why is was it so hard for me to write those things about myself? They are true, but why is the truth so hard to face?

I must be true to myself, starting today.

Hello, Anyone there?

I don't know why I am making this out to be harder than it really is... Writing a blog is about sharing your slice of life with the "world." But for some reason as much as I intend to "share my life" I never get around to it. Not only do I read multiple blogs each day, I have several bloggers that I consider to be my "friends." However for me, typing the words doesn't flow naturally.

Now that I most certainly have offended anyone who might read this blog with my overuse of quotation marks, I will begin once again.

Blogging is such an easy and compelling way to keep track of life, kids, and everything else that might be thrown at you. I keep stating that my intention is to write everyday. Ok, maybe probably won't happen. But I pledge to update at least 3 times a week...

Now that I've posted my intention, some pictures, which always make life better!

The Start of Summer

Summer has come in like a lion, blasting us with its hot, sultry air. And is there any taste better than a melting popsicle on a hot summer day?

End of the School Year

To celebrate the end of a sucessful school year, Will, Kate and I headed to the mall for some Auntie Anne's pretzel sticks, and some fruity delish smoothies from Smoothie King. All I have to say is YUM!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Rainy Days, Stay Awhile

The past few days the rain has been coming down by the bucketful. In fact it has been raining so much I was beginning to wonder if I should look in to building an ark. But although the rain keeps us inside, I don't mind too much. Its nice to have change of pace and we had a lot of very important things to do such as:

Such as take care of "Abby" in her fairy home.


We also had to build many buildings out of Lego's.


To top off our extremely busy afternoon we had an entire fleet of airplanes and cars to park in the garage.


In all it was a thoroughly exhausting day!

Mother's Day

When describing Mother's Day 2010 words escape me. Perfect and wonderful don't begin to describe the day. the munchkins thankfully slept in, which in turn allowed me to sleep in as well. That in and of it self is a blessing. The rest of the day was very relaxed and laid back, save for one very exciting moment: my PRESENT! I by far believe that my husband is the best of the best. Several weeks ago in passing I mentioned that I would like a DLSR camera. Nothing to fancy, but one that would take good pictures of the kids. Oh my goodness, he went crazy. Not only did her purchase an amazing Canon, but he bought the top of the line, really nice one, with 2 lenses... Hello??? Two lenses!!!

Needless to say the remainder of the day consisted of me taking pictures of the kids, our home, and any other animate or inanimate object I came across. I am in complete and total love, and while I do still need to work out some kinks, the present is perfect.

And not only is the present perfect, so was my day.

Perfect Day

Last week I had the honor of attending Will's end of the year program at school. We awoke to perfect blue skies, fluffy white clouds and sunshine that we hadn't seen in days. Will could barely contain his excitement as I packed our picnic lunch: chicken sandwiches, carrots and hummus, veggie straws, cantaloupe and Teddy Grahams.

After dropping Kate off to Grandma for her own adventure filled afternoon Will and I set out for the park. After we parked the car we started the walk to our picnic site. He reached up and grasped my hand, his slightly sticky from excitement. When we arrived at the shelter Will was a little shy. He carefully looked around at all of the adults and hid under a table. But thankfully his wonderful teacher, Mrs. Moore, was there to help him feel comfortable and safe. Once his best friend Benjamin arrived it was all I could do to have him even acknowledge my presence.

When all of the students had arrived, Mrs. Moore announced that it was time for lunch. All of the moms spread their picnics out in front with care and love. The boys quickly ate so that they could resume their fun and play. When everyone had finished eating the program began. Mrs. Moore and Mrs. Wightman brought blankets for all of the moms and kids to sit on. We were then treated to the magical sound of children signing. There were several songs just for mom's and some others that were just silly and fun. When the singing was finished, each child presented their mom with a special gift: a cinnamon heart and special book that was all about me!

The final portion of the day included the kids running around like crazy on the playground. Will was shy at first and then took off with his friends. He only came over to check in with me once and then he was gone. When it was time to leave he grasped my hand in his sweaty hand and we walked back to the car. He told me that he had a great time, better than he thought. He also told me that he loved me. It was a perfect end to a perfect day.

New Me...

I have made a decision to finally take control of my life, admit that I have a problem, and get help. Tonight is the first step to the new and improved me. I have an eating problem. It is deeper than just eating too much. Last week Chris and I talked openly, and I realized that until become healthy, our family will suffer.

So tonight is the night. I am attending an informational session to find out about entering a program. Not just a diet, but counseling, a life change. Its time, I am 34 and I keep saying tomorrow, next year... The time is now, and I am ready for the change.

Civic Duty, Check!

Will and I just got home from the polls. While this isn't a major election, I still a fair amount of responsibility to vote. All around the world people die fighting to try and vote. In America, less than 40 percent of the eligible population votes. I don't understand how people feel they can complain about what's going on in our nation when they don't participate in electing our decision makers. Just my two cents :) Happy Election Day!

Perfect Rainy Saturday

Today has been one of those perfect rainy days. Swimming lessons started our day. Then we went to a really cool place called Happen Inc and made pinch pots. The afternoon was spent napping, and cheering on UK to a win. Finally pizza and a movie capped off the day. All in all a perfect day!

Back to Work

So tomorrow is the first day back to school after the nice long break (16 days anyone).

I am also going to begin "living" tomorrow. That means WW and the gym - two things I must do.

Here's to a happy Monday!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Listening to the little things

So I am barely going to make my self-imposed deadline - 365 days of blogging - but here I am. Today was a very low-key relaxed day. Although we didn't stay in jammies, we could have. Literally we didn't leave the house except to get dinner (pizza party from Little Caesar's).

I have been thinking more about how I can be a better me, a better wife, a better mom and I have some ideas... Just listening to what others are saying is so important. Everyone wants to feel special, and so many times I am multi-tasking and miss the little things.

Wishing everyone a wonderful night and sweet dreams...

New Year, New Experiment

Many people on New Years, myself included, make a list of resolutions they intend to follow in order to "correct" what they percieve is wrong in their live.

This year rather than "fix" what is wrong in my life I plan on LIVING my life. This may sound silly but I intend to have fun, remember who I used to be and enjoy the little things. So without further ado, my list of how I plan on LIVING my life:

1. Live every day as though its my last and enjoy each moment entirely.

2. Be the best wife and mom I can be - not who I think I should be, but who I can be.

3. Take care of myself. This includes exercise, pampering, alone time. I deserve the best!

In order to chronicle my attempts to follow my "rules for living" I pledge to update this blog each day for a year.

Best wishes and Happy New Year's to you and yours!